Welcome to My Twisted Mind
by friend9810
Summary: Kylo Ren keeps a diary to try to help his rage so he doesn't destroy the whole ship and kill too many stormtroopers.
1. Chapter 1

Dear journal,

It's been recommended to me that I should start keeping a journal for my thoughts. People (Hux) think I let my rage out too much and it isn't good for the ship, apparently by writing down my thoughts this is supposed help. It's still manly though, because it's a journal and not a diary so I'm okay with trying it.

They don't get my outbursts though. Isn't the point of the dark side to give into anger? If I want to slash a few control buttons with my lightsaber because I can't get my hair to flip like the lead singer of Death Romance, I should be allowed to. No one understands. They think my life was all rainbows and sunshine. 'Oh you were raised by the legendary Leia and Han. How could your life be so bad?" Well, you know what? It did suck. Dad loved that wookiee _thing_ way more than he ever loved me. He never said it, but I could just tell. Stupid wookiees. When I get total control of the galaxy I am getting rid of every wookiee out there. Wookie life day? More like wookiee death day. Death day would be way more badass. I'm going to make that a thing.

Not to mention I was so alone growing up. No one at school liked me. My shadow was my only friend. Have you ever tried playing hiding go seek with your shadow? You can't. It's impossible. My life sucked. Then they shipped me off to Skywalker and completely abandoned me. People always told me that Luke was some great Jedi, but he's not. He's so boring. He doesn't want to do anything fun like torture or listen to music really loudly. Just meditation and charity. Blah. How he could be the son of the great Darth Vader I'll never know. Darth Vader deserved a better son. He deserved me. If I was born in that time we would've been the best fighters out there. We would rule the galaxy and no one would stop us. I bet he would also have some great fashion tips for me. Not going to lie. I totally based off my look off him. Another reason I hate my parents, they always complained that I wore too much black. They didn't understand the darkness represents my soul and my feelings. One time mom got me a green shirt and it was the ugliest thing ever. I burned it. That is how much I couldn't stand to look at it. I couldn't fathom wearing anything other than black. When I fully embraced the dark side I debated on the mask for a while because why would I need a mask AND a hood but decided that if a mask was good enough for Anakin then it is good enough for me. Though, obviously I sometimes take the mask off unlike him, because it's really tough to talk with it on. Like, I sound super intimidating but I can also intimidate people with my face so I like to switch it up sometimes.

I have to go now, Hux just informed me we found a rebel base. . Maybe I'll continue with this another day.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear journal,

I hate this stupid ship sometimes. People can be so small. I used to think Hux was the only one who sort of understand me, but then today he had to go and be a completely asshat. All I was doing was blasting 'Welcome to the Black Parade' (I won't go into how I nearly killed blew up the ship when I found out they broke up. Another story for another time) really loud. I was singing along too and made up my own lyrics like changing it to 'imperial marching band'. He told me to turn it down. He said it was 'distracting' and 'noisy'. He doesn't get that I relate to the song on a deep, emotional level. Except, my father never told me anything, or took me anywhere as a young boy. He just paid attention to the wookiee. I wish grandfather could have raised me.

Anyways, I have to keep being on good terms with Hux because he is the one that dyes my hair. Only reason I still keep him around, honestly. It's definitely not the fact that he is the only person that can look really hot in all black besides me. I mean it. Plus, last time I had a Stormtrooper dye my hair, he messed it all up. He even had the nerve to say that I shouldn't idolize Darth Vader. Like, what the hell? Of course I should idolize grandpa. He was the best. I can only hope to be as good of a Sith as he was. By the way, that Stormtrooper was FN-2187. I should have killed him then but I did that with about ten Stormtroopers before him and Master Smoak told me I should stop. Now look at him, he's a traitor. What a complete poser. Only true Stormtroopers know the value of Darth Vader.

Speaking of Darth Vader. I think I finally finished decorating my room. It's perfect. It's all black and I have twenty Darth Vader posters. Hux said it's a bit excessive, but I think it's just right. I would put more posters up but it's all that would fit. If I was capable of being happy about anything, I'm sure my room would do it. It is just how I want it and it really expresses my true feelings. My parents would never let me have so much black in my room. My room at their house was navy blue. Can you even imagine? Ugh, I hate thinking about it. Almost as much as I hate them. But now, I have my perfect room. I even foced-slammed the generator so hard that the lights don't work. It is a bit hard to move around in without lights, but the complete darkness is totally worth it. If I want to look at my posters and plushie of Vader then I just use my badass lightsaber to light up the room. The red glow looks so cool.

I'll just end it there. Thinking about my posters makes me want to go admire them for a few hours so I think I'll go do that.


End file.
